DevilSponge
by bigbadoneechan
Summary: SpongeBob and Devilman walk into a bar... hilarity ensues! Co-written with DevilCow (not a user on this site)
1. Chapter 1

Spongebob and devilman walk into a bar.

"alright listen up spongebob me boy," said devilman, "we are gonna get you piossesed by a demon! Its all to save to binki bottom!"

"I dunno about this devilman, "said spongebob "sounds really dangerous, likwe driving a boat without a license!"

Patrick, the waiter, hands him a brandy and says "I dunno think about it spongebob, it might get you mega laid!"

Spongebob thinks about it for a second. He could get mega laid tho….

"if you get possessed, you could get your boating license, way easier! You could have the demon do it for you!" devilman said.

Spongebob lightens up "im in!"

They decide to start the possession ritual by burning down the krusty krab~!

They leave the bar and go to the krusty krab, currently one of the only safe places right now, when spongebob lights a match and torches the fucker to the ground.

"that's great spongebob!" said devilman "now stab plankton with your glass of brandy!"

Spongebob breaks his glass hes was drinking out of, sees plankton crawling out of an air duct with the secret formula, and stabs him with the glass. Plankton lets out a scream and says "oh momma finally the formula, it joins in me in death" and then as the life leaves his body, he eats the formula. Spongebob takes planktons corpse and licks it into his mouth and eats him, says "tasty," then he starts lurching… he is getting possessed! He starts to morph into his devil form… DEVILSPONGE! His demon spirit was the ghost of a rabbid from rayman and that Mario rabbid crossover game.

"I think you did it! your crossed paths with a demon!" devilman says, the fires of the krusty krab reflecting of his eyes. The now jobless devilsponge says "lets go kick some patties!"

Devilman and devilsponge head out into a back alley and they find the beezlebot from futurama smoking ketamine. He says "hey whats up devilman, back from your work break?" and then devilsponge kicks him in the metal teeth and says "haha time to get you a broom to brush your teeth off the ground!"

Then devilsponge picks up a dipstick and whips beezlebot in the ass. Devilman says "now that's thinkin with your dipstick laddy!"

Beezlebot runs away, so devilman and devilsponge decide to entertain themselves further by getting his boating license. they go the boating school and even though its late at night the substitute teacher Amy Rose is there. Devilsponge starts his boating license test when amy rose runs out of air and drowns. Devilsponge is counted as passing anyway because nobody else is there to stop him. With his new boating license, he decides to buy grease lightning from grease to drive around with. Devilsponge decides to go show off his new ride and form to Patrick, still working at the bar.

When they get to the bar, it is ablaze as it too was set fire. Out of the ashes walks Patrick star, but it isn't just normal Patrick star, possessed by Egon from ghostbusters… hes is DEVILSTAR!

"devilsponge, there are too many ghosts in bikini bottom!" says devilstar.


	2. Chapter 2

Devilman looks really excited as he was not expecting TWO devilmen to join him. Devilfish? He looks at his comrades… devilsponge has bloodshot eyes, bunny ears, and long thick limbs. Devilstar is just Patrick with glasses and hes slightly more buff. Like as in a three pack. He also has Egon's hair. Devilman licks his lips in anticipation for the violence these two can cause. The three decide to first target ghosts, because even though they aren't the main antagonist, they would be good practice. They head out into the deadlands (which is a graveryard near bikini bottom) and find danny phantom, adult form, sitting on a grave plotting. He says

"hahaha I have fused with the ghost of Anakin skywalker to become DEVILPHANTOM! I have come to bikini bottom to kill sandy because I hate sand!" said danny phantom, or should I say, DEVILPHANTOM! "I was watching spongebob on nickelodeon one night and saw sandy cheecks and knew she had to die."

Devilsponge couldn't believe his ears. Sandy cheeks was pretty cool and in fact is the best spongebob character. The only reason she hasn't shown up yet is because reasons.

"I cant let you do that Devilphantom, you are bad and ugly, and from my perspective, should die" said devilsponge.

Devilphantom goes force-ghost, in a five minute long scene where his entire body turns blue and see through. He lifts his arms up as the ghosts of the dead around him rise up from the dirt and also become jedi. Old Man Jenkins, one of the jedi-ghosts, says "finally I can get my revenge!" and then draws his red lightsaber and leaps at devilsponge. Devilsponge jumps out of the way, and upon seeing the lightsaber hit the ground and burn the sand into glass, he begins to think this is too much for him. Can he really beat all these jedi ghosts? Patrick accidently overloads his protopack and gets launched into the air. as he berates himself in Egon and Patricks voice, he flies away to be seen later in the story. Old man Jenkins trips on devilsponge from the exlopsion of the protopack blowing up and devilsponge is not strong enough to lift him up. Devilman is preoccupied with the ghost of plankton to help. Out from the darkness comes the round form of heffer from rocko, with a Starfleet logo on his forhead! He is possessed by captain kirk from star trek, he is now DEVILCOW! He says

"devilsponge! you have entered a battle you cannot win! Devilphantom is too strong to win on your own! You have to use teamwork with other devilpeople to win!"

Devilcow sets his phaser to ghost, which turns the gun into a ghost, then it drops out of his hands. He says "aw shit" and then pushes old man Jenkins off devilsponge and helps him up.

"thanks for being the first person to help me, you remind me of devilstar," said devilsponge.

The two work together to fight off all the jedi-ghosts, including the phaser, and then they turn to devilphantom. Devilphantom draws kylo-rens saber and swings it at devilsponge and devilcow, but they narrowly dodge it. devilphantom uses his ghost powers to throw his saber at devilsponge, and he cant dodge it. luckily, devilcow jumps in front of him, taking the saber hit to the ass. Devilcow hits the ground and starts crying.

"devilsponge! take all my hamon-devil energy!" devilcow says, putting all his hamon-devil energy into a star trek dvd.

Devilsponge eats the dvd, slurping it up, and says "mmm tastes like garys food!"

He grows about 1.8 times stronger! His muslces begin to flex on their own they are so strong. He punches devilphantom in the face so hard devilphantom becomes human!

"oh shit, I should stop being a villain now" said devilphantom.

But then devilstar shows back up and zaps devilphantom with a new protopack that isn't broken. This one is called the tengen toppen protopackenn. It obliterates devilphantom in one hit.

"finally, a weapon that surpasses ghosts," says devilstar.

Devilsponge, now with a star trek logo on his forehead, meets up with devilman and devilstar at the bar. Devilman left because the fight was boring. They cant drink there though because the bar was burned down by devilstar. Devilsponge, the power going to his head, yells

"nothing can kill us now! Lets go dethrone poseiden!" devilsponge yelled.

Everyone agreed it was a good idea so they all go to poseiden's castle in grease lightning. On the way there, devilman opens the glovebox and gets sucked in and warped to ancient Greece for no reason and doesn't come back. Devilsponge and devilstar cry at the loss of their friend and the one who introduced them to devils, but they move on. They are invincible. Devilstar says "this reminds me of why I became a devil.."


	3. Chapter 3

Patrick Star, not yet a devil, was sitting on a hook when it pulls him up to the surface. Above the water, while he is drowning from the air and feeling as if he is being crucified, he sees a drowning luffy d monkey. Luffy, in an act of kindness in his dying breath because one piece ends here I guess, pulls off Patrick star from the hook. Patrick, floating down and crying, says "thank you, random twink,,," when he lands back in the hook field, he realizes hes late for work. At work, he hears devilman and spongebob talk about becoming a devil when he thinks "hmm… I could get mega laid too!" and so he burns down the bar and kills sandy as a sacrifice.

"woah that was a good flashback" said devilsponge.

In poseidens castle, sits poseiden. Devilsponge and devilstar burst into the throne room and devilsponge yelled "poseiden! All my friends are dead! Its time to get revenge!"

Poseiden says "I agree, lets get revenge," cracking is knuckles, "all my friends are dead because of you! This is for you, old man Jenkins… devilcows phaser,,, and devilphantom!"

Poseiden picks up his trident and destroys the mercy button like in undertale with it. there is no going back. Devilstar picks up his tengen toppen protopackenn and shoots it at Poseidon. It has no effect because hes not a ghost! "drat!" devilstar says "looks like its time to bring out the big guns" he said, taking out a fungus and eats it, and then dies vbecause he picked the wrong one.

"its just you and me now" said devilsponge, seemingly ok devilstar just died.

Poseidon throws his trident at devilsponge but devilsponge takes out his spatula-plunger and deflects it and screams "daaahahahaha!" the trident hits the wall just above Poseidon. He takes it out the wall with his biceps and said "oh yeah I am buff as hell, I don't need this" then throws it back at devilsponge. devilsponge, thinking that wasn't an attack, gets hit by it, the tridents pointy bits tearing through his spongey arms. He is reminded of devilcow getting stabbed in the ass by a lightsaber and thinks "could this be my end too?" devilsponge sits down and thinks as his rabbid and star trek devil possession take over. His bunny ears launch off like enterprise photon torpedos and hit Poseidon right in the face, blowing it up like a balloon until it pops like a weasel. Poseidons corpse animates, because hes a god, he can still live, and said "youre just a devil, fighting a GOD!" he slowly swims towards devilsponge to poke him to death with his godly powers that would crack his brain and kill him, devilstar wakes up and throws a creeper from Minecraft at Poseidon (because it's a fungus) and says "I collect funguses, bitch."

Poseidons corpse blows up like in minecraft and turns red, rotates sideways, then disappears.

"wow devilstar, I thought you died!" devilsponge said.

"no I faked my own death to steal the kill," devilstar said.

The two hug it out and walk back to grease lightning, as the dual monarchs of bikini bottom. But bikini bottom still needs to be saved! But from what?


	4. Chapter 4

Anyway, they go home to find squidwards house is missing! They ponder the possibilities of the disappearance, when they see the head-shaped building in the distance. At first they run towards it, thinking squidward just moved away because he hates them, but as they ran closer they saw the house was moving. Moving towards them. They slowed to a stop as they saw it was just the head of a giant mecha walking towards them. As the mecha draws closer they hear a voice screeching from it:

"Spongebob! You nincompoop! You killed my employer and the only way to pay rent! Im gonna make you pay!" the voice screeches.

Devilsponge and devilstar are agast, the antagonist the whole time was squidward? No. biokini bottom is safe under EVA UNIT-69 piloted by Squidward! Devilstar checks his fake death counter and it says 0.

"darnit, im all out of ideas" said devilstar. He tried to retreat to his rock to hide, but before he could get there it gets stepped on by Eva Unite-69. Devilstar yells and tries to run away, but squidward's eva unit grabs him and eats him. Devilsponge stares as devilstars ass falls from the gaping mouth of eva unit-69 and it hits the ground.

"GOOD RIDDANCE" yells squidward from the eva unit-69.

Devilsponge realized that devilstar was his true friend the whole time and shed a single tear. "ill do this one fight, just for you" devilsponge said.

Devilsponge farts into warp speed and collides head-first into eva unit-69, destroying it instantly. Squidward lands on the ground, and devilsponge softly lands next to him.

"you never had a chance" said devilsponge.

He then shoots phaser (set to kill) lasers out of his sponge-holes and kills squidward.

Suddenly, the jedi-ghost of devilcow, and devilphantom, and Poseidon (headless), and the top half of devilstar (the bottom half is still alive), and squidward, and all the other characters who have died like old man Jenkins, luffy, plankton, and so on show up and give devilsponge the thing he needs to hear.

"devilsponge," says devilcow, "you were put through us as a test to fight the realy enemy before you…"

Devilsponge remembers what he became a devil for in the first place. The sky turns black and bao-zakeruga screams towards him. All his jedi-ghost friends get devoured by the lightning dragon summoned by the one, the only, ZATCH BELL!

Zatch Bell stood atop a hill with his mamodo user, Sailor Moon, and friends Folgore and Kanchome. They peer down at devilsponge menacingly. Devilsponge yells at his opponents:

"zatch bell! All my friends are dead except the bottom half of devilstar! And you are the monster who ate them all!"

Zatch bell, munching on a tuna fish, says "so what? Don't have tasty friends!"

Devilsponge, angry at his opponent's hubris, launches his entire arsenal of enterprise weapons at zatch bell as well as a plunger. Folgore faces the blasts and takes them full on, his clothes tearing and revealing his hot bod. Getting distracted for a second, devilsponge gets hit by a lightning spell from zatch bell.

"haha! Youre too much of a sponge to fight us!" yelled sailor moon.

Devilsponge, in a fit of anger, throws his spatula at sailor moon. It hits her straight in the head and bounces back, hitting devilsponge in the head too. He gets knocked down and thinks about devilstar and his tricks. He closes his eyes, sheds a single tear, and says "arigato debirusutaru…" and then he passes out to fake his own death.

The blow to sailor moons head made some of her skin fall off to the ground, like a lot for some reason. That reason is revwealed to be paint, as it was not sailor moon but robnos disguised as sailor moon! The scheme revealed of mamodos using mamodos in the mamodo battles, the two get arrested by monty python in cop uniforms. Being the last standing mamodo, kanchome gets crowned mamodo king and folgore the king of all humans! As it should be!

Devilsponge wakes up about a week later and finds all his friends are still dead. But at least whats left of bikini bottom is finally safe from the clutches of fish eating mamodos as DEVILSPONGE has defeated them!

THE END


End file.
